In Memory (Thursday, April 29, 2010)



Thursday, April 22, 2010
Mom told me that we decided to discontinue medical treatment and liquid food with Lao Gou. I asked myself how long a person can live without food. I knew the earlier to be there the better chance I could be with her.
JJ helped me with flight tickets. He found tickets to leave on Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday for different prices. I chose to leave on Saturday and the price was acceptable.

Friday, April 23, 2010
I woke up around 4.30 a.m. because of an sms from Kiang. I thought it’s a message from Thailand. I couldn’t sleep after that. I got up and called to mom to ask about Lao Gou.
Today I worked at customer’s site. I left the building around 8 p.m. JJ picked me up at work and went to have dinner in a Thai place. I also needed to leave some money to Kiang since I was going to Thailand. We arrived home around 9 p.m. I fixed some stuff and packed my bags. I went to bed around midnight.

Saturday, April 24, 2010
I got up around 5.30 a.m. JJ had to get up early, too over last two days. He sent me off at the airport. I had to go early since my flight was from Stockholm to Copenhagen, then from Copenhagen to BKK.
JJ sent me many messages while I was waiting in Copenhagen. We would have texted to each other more if I had paid the phone bill myself.

Sunday, April 25, 2010
My flight landed 25 minutes ahead of the schedule. When I arrived, Peach, Pear and dad had been waiting at the airport already.
Before going to see Lao Gao in the hospital, we went to my sisters’ apartment for a short rest. My dad drove us to another city. It took about one hour to drive. We stopped at a market to have breakfast.

We arrived at the hospital around 10.00 a.m. We met Lao Gao’s doctor around 10.30 a.m. He said she might leave today or tomorrow. He had signed documents necessary for taking her home with us.
CCU opened at 11.00 a.m. Once it opened, my mom and I were the first to enter the room. When we arrived her blood pressure was 44/29 and heart rate was 66. But she looked much better than I saw her photo in Peach’s phone. She was given oxygen by using a plastic mask to cover her mouth. To me, it looks like she was sleeping. I started to talk to her. I told her, “I am back. Lao Gou doesn’t need to worry about me. I’m happy. JJ takes very good care of me. I’m happy every day with him. He’s never hurt my feelings and we’ll marry next year. Lao Gou doesn’t need to worry about Peach, Pear, me and mom. We can take care of ourselves. I remember what Lao Gou taught me. I’ve saved some money when my sisters are in trouble I’ll help them. When it is time Lao Gou should go and take a rest.” While I was talking she opened her eyes widely. I knew she acknowledged that I was back, I was there. She was waiting for me. Even at the last moment, she still looked beautiful and her skin smelled good.

Now, her blood pressure started to drop slowly. So did her heart rate. I kept looking between her and the monitor. Her feet started to get cold. Until the heart rate was 29, I was looking at her. When I looked at the monitor again, it showed zero. She was leaving. Few seconds later I saw she still breathed. That might be the last movement I saw on her body. The monitor showed 29 again. We started to prayed for her. It was not too long before I saw zero on the monitor. This time she left.
I stepped back to be away from the bed to see bigger picture in the room. I started to collect and memorize the moment, the last picture of her. If this is a book. This is the last line of the chapter telling her story when she’s still alive.
To me, the picture in front of me is Lao Gou is sleeping. One thing that is different is this time she will take a very long sleep. She is sleeping peacefully among family members: her brother, sister, nieces, nephews, and grand nieces. Everyone comes to send her with love. There are more than 10 lives inside her room. They are from different cities. Some take one hour, some take two hours, some take 3 hours to come. For me, it takes me more than 10 hours. But time and distance don’t matter. Everyone comes for her.

Lao Gou will be in memory of many descendants. And she will always be in memory of me, Peach, Pear and mom.
R.I.P

Some books have an epilogue. So does Lao Gou. Her funeral is a most memorable event in my life. She was a very lucky person. She has fulfilled all of her wills. Her funeral is one of the warmest family’s events. Family members were responsible and helped in different parts of the service. It was greatly successful because of lots of helps of everyone. Lao Gou always worried that she would die alone as she didn’t have any children. What happened was the opposite, she had got lots of relatives by her side. She didn’t need to ask for help yet she got it all.

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One response to “In Memory (Thursday, April 29, 2010)”

  1. Anne-Majs Hemsida says :

    Jay, det var fantastiskt vackert skrivet av Dig. Gammelmor har nu ett slut på det onda. Hon lämnade många som saknar henne, hon var en mycket speciell person. Jag önskar att jag hade fått lära känna henne tidigare. Tänk att hon väntade på Dig, för att förvissa sig om att Du har det bra. Hon har det bra nu. Jag kommer också och sakna henne, helst om jag åker till Thailand fler gånger. Bra att Joakim och Du har det bra tillsammans, det är en glädje för mig och se att ni är lyckliga/Anne-Maj

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